Why did you decide to get sober, or what turn of events lead you to Clear Behavioral Health?
I decided to get sober because I no longer had a will to live, and I was actively aware of how much my mental health was deteriorating. I felt like all of the other options that I tried always led me back to square one. I was desperate for a change; I needed a change. My life depended on it.
How has your perspective on life changed since beginning recovery?
The perspective change I have gained in sobriety has been pretty dramatic. I was very much out of touch with reality and have since been able to observe the change by watching myself accomplish things that I never thought imaginable. It’s pretty incredible what the mind is capable of in recovery.
What are you looking forward to in the future?
The one feeling that has remained the same while I was getting high as well as after I found recovery is the angst about my future. The difference now though is that I want to lean into that discomfort. I have found that it pushes me forward toward the unknown, and in doing so I get excited about exploring new avenues toward change. When I was high, the thought of where my future was headed made me want to crawl into a ball and hide from the world. The future excites me now. I don’t know what is going to happen, but I know it is all happening as it should, and I’m OK with that.
What have you learned about yourself in recovery?
One of the biggest things I have learned about myself in recovery is that in order for any of the healing to take place I must learn to forgive myself, and not let my past define me. I have learned to acknowledge my past, deal with any of the guilt and shame that I have attached to it and then move forward. In working the fourth and fifth step, it became a huge component for my growth in recovery. The years of inner monologue that had been bouncing back and forth in my head were finally released when I was able to talk about it with someone else.
If you could reach out to someone new in recovery, what advice would you give to them?
To anyone that is new in recovery I would tell them to give a 12 step program a real shot. To be patient and forgiving with themselves. That nothing happens overnight and it does take time, but to know that it is worth every second and you definitely do not want to rob yourself of the opportunity to tap into your full potential. If I could do it in the state of mind I was in when I first got here, anyone can.
