Addiction is frequently referred to as a “family disease”, as it affects each and every member of a family unit. This is especially true when the addict/alcoholic lives at home with the family, as their substance use disorder becomes front and center. Understanding addiction and family recovery will help the family heal as a whole, which provides the necessary support for the addict to achieve meaningful long-term sobriety.
Family Dynamics of Addiction
As a result of the behaviors that the sufferer exhibits, each member of the family tends to fall into a role that makes them feel as comfortable as possible while they work to cope with the impacts of this disease. These roles are as follows:
The Hero
The hero of the family is the family member who is fully focused on perfectionism and success. This person strives to continually make strides at school, work, and home in an effort to distract from the sufferer and to give the family a member to be proud of.
The Enabler
The enabler of the family is the individual who behaves in ways that enable the person struggling with addiction to continue using. They may provide money, transportation, shelter, etc. to the loved one in active addiction in an effort to keep them safe, but these behaviors only make the situation worse.
The Mascot
Every family has a family member with a good sense of humor. Families struggling with addiction are no different. However the mascot of the family uses humor to deflect their feelings regarding the sufferer and help distract others from focusing on the severity of the situation. Because of utilizing this improper coping skill, the mascot of the family is more likely than some others to also develop a substance abuse problem in the future.
The Lost Child
The lost child is the child in the family that gets lost in the mix. They may be socially withdrawn, not talk much, or even participate in hobbies or activities that they used to like. The chaos surrounding the sufferer overwhelms the lost child to the point where they feel forgotten in their family unit. Similar to the mascot, the lost child is also at greater risk for abusing drugs or alcohol in the future because of their role.
The Scapegoat
The scapegoat is the family member that is always being blamed for the bad things that happen within the family. This person also creates unfavorable situations as a means of attention-seeking.
The Sufferer
The sufferer is the person in the family who is actively abusing drugs or alcohol. Their behaviors set off a chain reaction within the family unit that can impact each member significantly. The person struggling with substance abuse continues to use despite the repercussions to the family.
Thankfully, it is not just the sufferer who can obtain professional help for their substance use disorder. Their family members can also participate in therapeutic treatment designed to help them heal together as a family unit.
Addiction and Family Recovery
Family therapy is one of the best options for those family units with a someone recovering from addiction in them. That is because through family therapy, all members of the family can benefit. Some of the most important aspects of addiction and family recovery are taught during family therapy. They can include, but are not limited to, the following:
Communication
When addiction is occurring within the four walls of a home, it becomes easy for all members of the family to stop communicating effectively. Family therapy helps families recognize healthy ways to communicate with one another so that everyone can feel heard and can say what they want without chaos ensuing.
Managing resentments
Everyone, including the sufferer, harbors resentments in the early stages of addiction and family recovery. Working with a therapist allows family members to identify those resentments, speak on them, and develop ways to properly heal them. This can include working directly with the family member who the individual has a resentment with.
Accountability
Addiction often causes families to function in survival mode. This makes it complicated for family members to be accountable for their actions, as they are just trying to survive it all. Accountability helps families build respect for one another and keeps everyone as honest as possible.
Trust
Trust tends to be the first thing broken when it comes to addiction, as well as the last thing to be repaired. Addiction causes everyone in the family to do, say, and behave in ways that break the trust of others. Family therapy allows the family to engage in trust-building exercises designed to help one another start earning that trust back.
The family plays a significant role in addiction recovery, not only from a family standpoint, but also when it comes to the sufferers future. As the family works to heal, they can learn how to be supportive to their loved one in recovery so that the disease of addiction does not infiltrate their lives again.
Boundaries
A family unit without clear and respected boundaries can be unhealthy. All family members might struggle to know where to draw the line and have no idea how their actions affect each other. This is especially true for families who have loved ones struggling with addiction. Parents may be treated like a door mat over and over while their loved ones continue to wreak havoc.
Setting clear and firm boundaries is essential for healing your family as a whole. Additionally, sticking to your boundaries is vital for the success of sufferers and family members alike.
Here are some examples of healthy boundaries to put in place:
- Treat each other with respect and kindness
- Learning to say “no”
- Prioritize your own values
- Refuse to provide financial support
- Offer help in the form of addiction treatment programs whenever your loved one is ready
Depending on your own family dynamic, there may be specific boundaries that you should set. You know better than anyone else how addiction has affected your family. Acknowledging these issues and doing your part to make sure they don’t repeat will lead to healing and strengthening.
Support
Family support makes a huge difference in addiction treatment outcomes and recovery. Showing you care and providing much needed emotional support goes a long way. Family involvement in substance abuse treatment might look different depending on your unique situation. Perhaps you are far away from where your loved ones and unable to participate. You might be struggling with broken relationships that can’t simply be fixed by someone going to treatment. Thankfully, Clear Behavioral Health understands the importance of family involvement and we do what we can to make sure families receive the help they need.
Attending support groups has proven to be an effective way for family members and those struggling with addiction to reach common ground. Understanding the disease of addiction and what the recovery process entails sets the stage for improved relationships in the entire family unit.
Heal Your Family at Clear
If a member of your family is struggling with addiction, know that we understand the challenges that your entire family is facing. At Clear Behavioral Health, we work with you to help establish a healthy family unit that works together and trusts each other.
If you are ready to get the help you or your loved one needs, look no further. Contact us today to learn more about our addiction treatment programs including drug and alcohol detox for stabilization, residential rehab to build a solid foundation in recovery, and substance abuse outpatient programs providing ongoing support. We offer our inpatient drug and alcohol detox and rehab in Gardena, CA and Redondo Beach, CA. We look forward to helping your family heal on the road to recovery.
